1. Care That You Are There: Wake up James Franco you are a HOST.
2. But Not Too Much: Anne Hathaway: Eight dress changes and a solo is overkill (adorable and energetic as you are).
3. Don’t Be “Shocked:” Seriously, your odds of winning are roughly one in five. Why waste half your air time exclaiming how utterly surprised you are?
4. Align Your Visuals with Your Message: Why are we watching Gone with the Wind and Titanic montages? I am still confused.
5. Avoid Insider Jokes: Only a handful of us have seen the short films up for awards. Justin Timberlake’s “I’m Banksy” comment makes us feel like we are missing something.
6. Plan a Good Opening: Seventy-three- year-old David Seidler’s opening quip, “My father always said I’d be a late bloomer” was brilliant. And he didn’t step on his joke by rushing to his next point.
7. Expect the Unexpected: Audiences are bored when the outcome is preplanned. Shake it up!
8. Hollywood Glamour Always Prevails: Each year I proclaim the Oscars as long, tedious and cheesy. And then I tune in again. Maybe someday, the producers will stop trying to make it something it’s not and let the glamour and talent reign.
-Charlotte Dietz